A Combination of Things

Wedding

Regular readers, are there even a half dozen of you, know that I am getting married in November. They dont know this because I talk about it a lot on this blog, i dont talk about anything a lot on this blog, but because they are my family and have known about the wedding for a while. People have offered me a great many congratulations and well wishes but nobody told me that planning the wedding would be so unbelievably horrible. I thought registering was bad but the process just gets worse and worse as the concept of other peoples feelings takes a more prominent role. I have read a library worth of literature about planning weddings and they all try to convince you of the same idea: This is your wedding, dont let people tell you how your wedding should be, the only opinion that matters is that of the bride and groom. I try not to swear on this blog because who knows who might be reading it but, HORSE SHIT. The place we are getting married holds 140 people we are inviting 158, which means that Mine and Nicolette’s thoughts, wishes and feelings account for only 2 of the of the total thoughts, wishes and feelings we are trying to accommodate. Its just too much. I suppose its like anything else, when ever someone has any kind of expectations they expect that those expectations are going to be met and its only when they are not met that theres going to be problems. The problem people run into, because i am sure we are not the lone people in the world who feel this way, is that these expectations are rooted in long standing general and specific to family ‘wedding traditions.’ I personally am not an advocate of the long standing unbroken tradition. I like starting new traditions, personal traditions. The idea of being tied to a set of social standards regarding weddings just seems really strange to me. there is a hidden culture to weddings that preaches individualism but is actually grounded in fierce traditionalism. Bill Hicks used to say that it is time to start a new religion because all of the pre-established ancient religions were no longer relevant to the world we currently live in. In a different and slightly less substantial way the same can be said about the modern wedding ceremony. we arent joining empires here or rival tribes. This isnt a marrige designed to combine wealth or family lands. if someone is left off of the list due to money and space considerations one hopes that they are not going to band their kin together and burn down a village.  This isnt the Montagues and the Capulets (did you like that? Im smart!). i suppose there was a chance that Nicolettes cousin would challenge me to a duel and kill me because he isnt in my wedding party but we compromised and gave him another role allowing me to live another another day without a scimitar in my gut. This is all very complicated much more so than i thought it would be. It hasnt yet taken the fun out of the idea of the the wedding day but its frustrating. we need to adopt some new policies as a society regarding our nuptials. If anyone who is reading this is thinking about getting married themselves, dont feel like you have to obey the omnipresent wedding gods. Throw ‘em some curve balls. Lets starting taking the system down from the inside. Lets start small. We will work on that religion stuff later. 

Tags: 'I guess i just wasnt made for these times' to quote Br, Shakespeare, Wedding