For Your Enjoyment
Thursday, March 27th, 2008
I just cannot stop lauging. Im printing this out and putting it in my cube.
Archive for the ‘whatever’ Category
Ultimate Fighting for Kids: Are you Kidding?
Thursday, March 27th, 2008To answer the above question…Nope.
People, namely politicians, need to stop trying to convince me that America is the greatest nation to ever grace our rapidly disintegrating Earth. Maybe it used to be when we formed the nation and wrote the Declaration of Independence, or when we came together as a nation for all of a week after September 11th. There have been moments when we have achieved greatness as a country but please read this and tell me that this doesnt set us back as a species and specifically as a nation hundreds of years:
http://www.optimum.net/News/AP/Article?articleId=399904
I checked all the news wires to make sure women still had the right to vote and the we didnt reintroduce slavery into society. I went to the drinking fountain in my office and there is still only one and there is no designation as too which race can and can not use it. There are no crosses burning on any of the lawns surrounding me. For moment i was genuinely frightened that all of these things that we have worked so hard as a country to overcome might come back to haunt us all because of some stupid idiot parents who encourage their six year olds to beat the living s#!t out of each other.
According to the article it doesnt seem like these parents have any idea why normal people in society think that they should be thrown into the belly of an active volcano before they infect the rest of us with their mutant strain of idiocy. These are the same people who Im sure want Michael Vick to get the electric chair for participating in dog fighting while they are essentially engaged in the same kind of scenario: things that dont know any better being pitted against one another in a competition to see who is stronger which is determined by who inflicts more bodily harm on their opponent. But these people are doing it WITH THEIR KIDS!!! We call cock fighting disgusting while we fill our bellies up with chicken almost everyday of the week. So we dont mind that chickens get killed we just dont want them to be killed by other chickens for a latin american countries enjoyment. Well guess what i dont mind my six year olds getting into fights as long as its a school yard tussle instigated by two kids who are similar in age not by their parents dressing them in their gear, taping up their hands, PUTTING THEM IN A CAGE and then cheering them on as they either pummel a child or themselves get pummeled.
I just find this completely unacceptable. If you are grown up and are capable of making your own decisions then please be an Ultimate Fighter. I have no problem with Ultimate Fighting as long as its being done by adults. While this is currently banned in most states, of course not in the Midwest, after i finish this post I am writing to my congressman and asking that they sponsor a bill that makes involving children in Ultimate Fighting a felony and that any violation of this law result in capital punishment or at least having their kids taken away from them, not that they would mind because you have to really hate your kids to involve them in something like this. As county we need to remove these stains on our society by any means necessary. if that means education, if that means outrageous law enforcement, if that means putting these parents, who loath their children to the extent that they take pleasure in seeing them being beaten by other kids, in the ring with actual Ultimate Fighters so that they can see what its like to have someone kneeling on your arms rendering them immovable while you are repeatedly punched in the face and head, then lets do that. i am for that. I would pay to see that on pay per view. I would pay a thousand dollars to watch these parents be handled and broken by an adult who made their own choice to be an Ultimate Fighter.
People need to start using their brains for something other than figuring out how best to gratify their own, to steal a line from the Mighty Bill Hicks, fevered egos. This is all a part of of the grand deterioration of our collective intelligence and ability for reason. For this i say thank you to the following people: Thanks George Bush, thanks religious fundamentalists, thanks people who watch the Hills and Flavor of Love and think that anything Justin Timberlake has ever done in anyway compares to anything that Michael Jackson has done. You people are poisoning civilization, to quote the aforementioned Michael Jackson, “…for you and for me and the entire human race.”
Thats from Free Willy!
A Mysterious Lack of Posts
Wednesday, March 26th, 2008Sorry Im late, traffic was murder.
I try to do most of my posting while Im at work. It gives me something to think about so i dont have to think too hard about my job. You see I hate my job. Think what you want about that statement and what it means in relation to what kind of person I am, but there is nothing anyone can say or do that can make me retract my statement or feel differently about my exceedingly horrible job. Its mere existence makes me question what has occurred in society to make my job possible. Im not talking about my company as a whole but the specific role i play within in the company.
The point im trying to make is that i hate my job so much that i spent Monday and Tuesday as utterly depressed as it is possible to and logged several drafts of attempted posts that i was just unable to focus on enough to finish due to this not all that unexpected instance of occupational depression (Nicolette, is that a thing? Occupational Depression?).
Im posting now because i took a half day to put all of my efforts into looking for a new job. I havent found anything yet, seeking employment is slow going, however i have been at it for approximately 4 hours and i havent quit yet which is substantially longer than my normal job searches last. I have what is known as a “lack of motivation” when it comes to doing things like finding a new job, getting in shape, writing songs etc, etc. Mainly because, and we’ll go in order, even through i hate my job I do have a job, while i am slightly over weight im not obese and ive never been a gym guy, if our bodies host genes for wanting to go to the gym my parents must have saved all of theirs for when they had my brother, and I wrote the Build-up, some bands that are making millions of dollars right at this moment, touring the world and tricking idiots into buying their records, have never written a song as good as The Build-up.
Or so Ive been told.
Anyway, i’ll try to be better about posting and i will also try to not give up on things so easily. Those are my two goals for the rest of the week. Post more and to not quit. i should be able to accomplish both of them with relative ease. You’ll know if i did by how sunny and warm it is.
Oh, in case you didnt know my moods control the weather.
Sorry for all the wind.
More New Links!
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008Added a new link to the blogroll suckas!
Zak Smith, a sometimes artist and according to his website a sometimes porn star, decided to illustrate what happens on every page of Thomas Pynchon’s classic Gravity’s Rainbow. It could be seen as an installation at various museums when he originally finished 4 or 5 years ago but is available now, everyday, in book form or at the web site i have so graciously given you a link to.
Your welcome.
Dont try to look at these all in on sitting. Also, dont try to read Gravity’s Rainbow while simultaneously following along with the pictures. I tried it once and my head exploded. I happen to have been blessed with a particularly useful disease known as Regenerating Cranium but i am unaware of anyone else who has been afflicted with this tragic but helpful illness and i wouldnt want to be responsible for anyone being permanently absent a head.
Thats not what Im about.
New Links!
Monday, March 17th, 2008i posted two new links to sites that i dig on a regular basis. they are both for people who write for the Chicago Sun Time a pretty good national rag, Jim DeRogatis and Roger Ebert. Jim writes a music and entertainment blog and he hates Juno so he can be my friend. He was responsible for this book Milk It that i was into a few years ago. he’s a pretty good writer and most importantly he hates Juno.
Roger Ebert is a great writer and he loves Juno which makes no sense to me. The two were actually engaged in a blog feud of sorts over whether or not Juno is good. Juno is not good, but that is not the issue. Roger Ebert is the standard bearer for all movie reviewers and his writing, im not to concerned with the TV show, has informed my knowledge of film since i discovered him while doing research for a paper on the Accidental Toursit for my film as literature class when i was a senior in high school. as i recall my teacher was unfamiliar with the Ebert and i ended up just cutting and pasting most of his review into my essay. I believe i got an A on that paper and i would be lying if i told you i was sorry.
anyway, Ebert is the best. if you have nothing to do and want an extended history lesson on film, scroll through his reviews of “The Great Movies.” They are full of information on the period during which the movie was made, personal recollections, always my favorite, and things you never thought you needed to know about movies like Vengeance Is Mine, Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters, and Blade Runner, all three of which he wrote about recently.
Ebert has only been writing sporadically since he has been sick so his editor Jim Emerson does a lot of the writing. Jim is different. For an example look up his review of ‘Donnie Darko.’ I just thought the movie was about a ridiculous kid who yells at Patrick Swayze and sees a big black anti-climactic bunny everywhere before being inexplicably crushed to death by a jet engine but Jim has different take. After reading it maybe you also can find the clues to Donnies hidden desire to have sex with his sister that Jim says propels the whole movie. Just so you know i did watch it again and i couldnt find it.
Love me some Tears for Fears though.
St Patricks Day
Monday, March 17th, 2008Happy St Patricks Day.
There was that petition from Guinness going around trying to get the government to acknowledge St Pattys as a national holiday. I was getting ready to log onto my computer one morning and sign said petition when, on my way to work, i heard that this idea was being championed by Carson Daly. Needless to say, i did not sign the petition. i refuse to take part in anything that is represented by Carson Daly. I dont care how good the cause is. You must be able to find a better spokesman that Carson Daly. Maybe someone relevant and who isnt a stupid tool.
Just a thought.
Some Thoughts on Today and Tomorrow
Thursday, March 13th, 2008I received a new computer at work so my C button now functions properly, which is nice.
Tomorrow is my birthday. Im going to be 26. I dont think i have any feelings regarding this fact one way or the other. 26 doesnt really seem like a big deal. Im not going to worry about it.
I need some new sneakers so on my lunch break im going to go and try to achieve some new sneakers. I dont want anything too flashy. thats the problem with sneakers, sometimes they are just too flashy.
Im not hungry but Im going to eat. I hate that. i havent eaten in at least 16 hours so i know should eat but i am not hungry. this really bothers me.
How come there are no websites devoted exclusively to books. there are websites for movies and music and art and websites devoted to spying on people you used to know, they call them social networking sites, and politics and everything, but nothing just for books. Some one should look into this. they could review books and rank books and have constantly updated news about books and an agents site and and authors site. I really think this idea has legs and those legs are taking it to the next open spot on my mental shelf of things that i will forget the next time a slightly more interesting idea pops into my head.
Dad, maybe you can clarify this for us, I was at band practice yesterday and we were talking about Utopia and we just could not figure out the appeal of Utopia besides it including Todd. If anyone else would like to chime in on this feel free.
I hate the Yankees.
Maybe Ill write something later but i dont know if Ill have time. Its been pretty busy at work which is horrible. Im glad tomorrow is my birthday, it gives me an excuse not to come in. I think tomorrow Ill start my day with some jumping jacks.
Eliot Spitzer
Monday, March 10th, 2008I know nothing about Eliot Spitzer nor do I know anything about what he has done during his term as Governator of New York, but is anyone really surprised by this, being part of an elaborate prostitution ring? And if you are why? This is just what our politicians do. Its their job. We elect them to engage in the illegal activities they put us in jail for. Good work Eliot Spitzer! You are just the next in a long line of huge embarrassing failures elected to serve a branch of the United States Government. Presidents, congressmen, senators, governators and mayors i hope you’re watching how this is done. I hope youre getting some good tips and ideas for when its your turn to stab each one of the citizens you are supposed to represent in the back by being selfish arrogant pigs. This makes me laugh more than anything else.
And Im sure his wife will stay with him because one day shes going to run for president.
i suppose that was uncalled for.
Recovering from Primary Fever
Monday, March 10th, 2008My Tuesday nights usually look something like this: get home at 6, pet the cat, talk to Nicolette, determine if we have anything better to do that night, decide we dont, order Chinese food around 7, pick it up around 730, watch American Idol from 8-9 pretending like there isnt primary coverage for that hour and then when American Idol is over settling in behind the “Best Political Team on Television” to watch hours of primary coverage on CNN. Its been this way since primary season began and only once have we had any kind of break from the routine, the week there were no primaries on Tuesday, and even then i was itching like an addict for the sweet sounds of Anderson Cooper and his never ending cast of talking heads and punditing showoffs.
I think though, tomorrow, the routine will come to an end. Ive been sitting here all day reading articles about Barack and Hillary and how they might run together and Barack saying theyre not. Ive read every one of Newsweeks dozen or so articles published online today about Hillary Clinton culminating with an exclusive Q&A during which she says nothing new or interesting or anything that might dissuade me from thinking that this ‘interview’ is really just a series of quotes put into the context of an interview using newly written questions that correspond to a previous statement. To be honest, I am just tired of the whole process. The back and forth and the, quite literally, he said she said, its just so tiring and if you’re supporting someone its nerve racking and i just dont want to do it for a while.
I think i might swear off primary coverage until Pennsylvania by then, hopefully, a victory either way will really mean something. Hillary won both Texas and Ohio and what did it mean? Nothing, it didnt mean anything. Any delegates that Barack lost on Super Tuesday 2 he got back by slaughtering Hillary in Wyoming. So, he still has a sizable delegate lead. He is still leading in the popular vote. In polls he is still beating John McCain soundly while Hillary struggles to maintain even a one or two point lead. They even have her losing in some polls. Congratulations Hillary on your big wins last week. They were totally meaningless.
I think this Tuesday im going to make a big salad, watch American Idol and then read a book or work on wedding plans. Something constructive. and if between now and Pennsylvania something monumental happens and a group of primaries in smaller states may actually shape the end result of this thing maybe I’ll tune in to Anderson, Wolff, Candy and Dana and let them sing me sweet lullaby so that when i wake up the next day this whole crazy thing is over and we can get down to the business making a real difference.
Keep on Chooglin’
Rejection Letter
Monday, March 3rd, 2008I got my first rejection letter today. I had never before submitted anything for publication and then one day at work having nothing better to do with myself, I started submitting this “thing” i had been working on for a little while. I think I may have sent it to a dozen or so online and print publications, maybe more. I honestly dont remember now. Anyway, i got my first rejection notice today by email almost two months after i initially sent my submission. Two months is pretty good right? Dont these places usually take six months or more to respond?
I want to have mixed feeling about this but i dont. Frankly i dont care all that much. Maybe its because i dont care about the piece, but i know thats not true because i do care very much. I think its because, and i dont want this to sound like a pep talk or some kind of inspirational monologue, Im not going to let Eclectica Magazine tell me that i stink. The following publications can tell me that I stink: McSweenys, The Paris Review and The New Yorker. Paul Auster can also tell me that i stink. Thomas Pynchon can also tell me that i stink but i dont think he would. that guys crazy. I get a rejection letter from any of these three publications i might say to myself, “Tom you need to make some changes in how you go about the business of ‘writing,’” but until i receive such a notice, letter or declaration from one of the above i will continue to create in the only way i know how, which is almost terrible but not quite so awful that i cant see someone else besides myself enjoying my style.
So, like i said, Eclectica Magazine said no way to “Pointed to Horses.” No big deal.
Keep on chooglin’.
